Day 1: 15 Minutes to Live

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

To think I only have 15 minutes to write everything I would like to leave to the world and I am drawing blanks. Tears come to my eyes when I think about what I will be leaving behind. I have a great family and amazing friends. I love them with all my heart although I feel I sometimes did not let them know. I hope they do though. I hope my family knows that they were everything to me. That even though I lived on the other side of the country I loved them dearly, missed them always, and often yearned to be with them. I do not know why I moved so far away from them but it seemed to be the right answer for me. As for my friends they accepted me for who I really am. I know that a lot of the time they never understood the internal struggles I was having but they were there for me no matter what path I was on. For that I am grateful.

I guess I would tell you to love yourself no matter what. It seems to be the thing I struggle with a lot. One would never guess because I try to be strong and confident but most times inside I was scared. Love who you are (physically, spiritually, emotionally).

I wish I wasn't afraid of commitment, of uncertainty, and of fully loving someone else. I think I let those emotions dictate a lot of my actions and ultimately my (un)happiness.

Never regret anything. We all make good choices and we all make plenty of bad. For whatever reasons we made them and yes things could have been better but you chose to go down that path and it shaped and molded you into the person you are today. Take those experiences for what they are worth; learn and grow from them and make better decisions the next time around.

Find happiness in all things. The key is to look for it. You cannot just sit there waiting for things to happen for happiness and joy to find you. You have to be proactive. You have to be daring to put it all out there. You have to be willing to let people and things in so that you may fully experience life and all the joys it has to offer.

I have 5 minutes left...

I am Joan Preston Downing. I came from Bard, CA and moved east to gain an education and work. I died at the young age of 24. I did not get to enjoy marriage, children, growing old, or anything else that comes with living past my early adult life. I loved my family more than anything in the world. They taught me more than any school could have. I love them and I will miss them. I wish I would have stayed closer to them.